With all the different ways to promote one's self these days (whether you're a musician, a writer, a chef, or just trying to meet new people and express yourself), it gets harder and harder to really feel like you're on top of it all. The title of this blog came from the feeling I've been having lately that I've been training for a marathon for years, I'm running in the race, and for some reason - regardless of the countless hours of training and 'mock marathons' - everything is flying right past me instead of the other way around.
To be more specific, and to fill you in on what I've been doing that's led me to writing this particular blog posting, I have been trying to promote my music by linking all of my websites together: myspace, facebook, twitter, my blog (www.persiancoercion.blogspot.com) and my own personal website www.indYgYrl.com. There are so many websites, resources, and options these days that one may feel trapped in terms of knowing what to do, where to start, and HOW to do all the things you want and need to do to get you from point A to point B. I come from a strict musical background, like, I learned the methods that my teacher learned, her teacher learned, and so on and so forth. I mean, I am so prehistoric that when everyone in college was using cool and efficient programs like Finale to put their musical ideas out on print, I was staying up all night losing sleep writing every part out by hand. Don't get me wrong, there is definitely some merit in having that skill. But sometimes admirable skills aren't always...useful. And in today's world, "you snooze, you lose".
I am a musician. That is my occupation. It's also my passion, so work doesn't always feel like work. Sure, there are responsibilities - but the joy that I feel every time I perform, write a song, or record is such a huge reward that I hardly notice all the effort that it requires. BUT, I am human. Every now and then, I get tired. I call my friends for support and advice, I talk to my mother for some good old-fashioned 'baby-ing', I go out on dates to feel attractive and take my mind off work, and I go to shows and concerts so that I can witness someone else do all the work for once (and, if I'm lucky, to feel better about myself, hehe). All of these things do help, but they are just temporary fixes for the real issues that most often go unnoticed and, ultimately, unaddressed: lack of self-love (emphasis here), denial, and avoidance. Now, the last two might sound a bit harsh but hear (i.e. 'read') me out:
We are indeed in a race. Yes, we are in a competition. However, we are NOT in a competition or race with time (because, well, I don't really believe that 'time' exists in the sense we most commonly refer to), with the world, with each other. We are in competition with ourselves only. There's actually no deadlines, no world record to beat, no 'next big thing' to top (unless it came from you), and until you realize this, you are going to waste a lot of precious time and energy perfecting yourself for someone else. From this perspective, there will always be somone bigger, better, stronger, smarter - and suddenly you begin to lose perspective because your focus is placed on beating them instead of on bettering yourself.
So, here's my solution for the recent exhaustion and overwhelming tasks that have been bestowed upon me (or, more appropriately, did I bestow them upon myself?):
"I am going to love myself, pat myself on the back, and reward myself for the progress that I make everyday. I am a fighter, I am getting stronger and stronger everyday because I have fallen at times. I welcome the challenges; maybe not at first, but I soon realize that it is the challenges and not the successes that show me who I really am and what I am really made of. I may not be the fastest runner, I may not hold any national titles. But I sure as hell am one tenacious, relentless, unfaltering force to be reckoned with. All other participants beware: there's no way in HELL I'm giving up any time soon."
Just remember: you are only in competition with yourself. If you feel that someone is competing with you, or if you feel pressured to live up to any expectations other than your own, thank them for pushing you and helping you to question yourself so that you know yourself better. And just keep running. Your loved ones are right behind you, rooting for you every step of the way.
May the force be with you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment